Dear diary
by 2Black-fox2
Summary: Hinata found her old diaries . The diaries she wrote when she was depressed , years ago . She is glad she isn't alone anymore . Rated T for depressing thoughts .


A/n I don't own Naruto or the diary entry . I found it on the internet and liked it so much that I wanted to put them in a fanfiction ( the diaries entry ) .

Dear Diary

Dear diary ,

Today I found my old diaries , you know , all your brothers and sisters ? All the diaries I wrote since I was 7 ? I found them yesterday . I don't know what inspired me to open them but I was instantly in tears to see how lost I was during those young years . I read and read , crying . Naruto was next to me crying with me . Letting me lean on his shoulders .

My diaries were still so good kept in those shoe boxes . They were just like new . I observed my writing changing in those years becoming these curly letters that I wrote this days . I love my writing .

My diaries are full of pain . Sometimes I used to write my entries like poems . Because I had to take a break after every verse to have the courage to continue . I used to be so shy .

Old friend , I'm sorry I put for years this pain in you . But you were the only one I could talk to . I still remember my first entry . It was just like this :

**Dear Diary, **

**You know the answer so tell me please,  
Just who is this girl in the mirror, and who am I?  
My mind wanders through thoughts of who I might be,  
But eyes just can't stop the tears and I begin to cry.**

So maybe my name starts with an 'A' or 'B,'  
But tell me please before it's too late,  
It shatters my heart into pieces and soon I know they will see,  
Don't close their eyes to reality and let me gain some fate.

My voice is silence because they don't even stop to hear,  
The screams in my nightmares that are real,  
The things that run down my eyes day by day, that most call tears,  
But I'm hoping in time my heart will be bruise-free and it will heal.

I'm tired of their voices I hear every single day,  
I've stopped complaining and stopped raising my voice to be heard,  
When they talk and tell me off I just roll my eyes and look away,  
I just want to grow some wings and fly away just like a  
dove or bird.

When I go to sleep they come in to see if I'm okay,  
I pretend I'm sleeping and act dead,  
Maybe not dead because the questions will replay,  
But I silently hope I will be, because of the reasons not spoken but the ones in my head.

I can keep running if that's what they want but eventually my legs are going to give out,  
My heart will rumble and roll with me every single time,  
I will pick up the pace if I need to and have no doubt,  
I will look through the darkness and listen for the chimes.

I can't stop the questions that never come to an end,  
They say I have anxiety and depression all because I have no friends?  
They don't know who to believe so they believe the lies,  
I keep telling them each and every day but they won't stop to realize.

The second entry sounded like this :

**Dear diary :**

**what did I do wrong?  
Why should I live on through this fight,  
I've tried poetry, down to dictionaries, to love songs,  
But I can't find the answer to what isn't wrong when nothing's right.**

I'm tired of the dreams I had in sight,  
I've screamed at the top of my lungs,  
I've lived in black and white,  
And the songs have all been sung.

Give me a reason to go on,  
I've ridded all my friends,  
Because i haven't been ''true enough'' so they have all just gone,  
I've lived in bruises and self harm and I think I will bring it to an end.

I've tried to live up to my boyfriends wants and needs,  
I've tried to give everything now I have nothing anymore,  
I've tried to show my boyfriend the scars of my pain and tried to make him see,  
I've nothing to give, nothing to receive, the sight I see is the closed door.

**T**he third entry was :

**Dear Diary,**

**how do I get this lonely?  
In a room covered of white or pink and people all around,  
How come no one looks and no one finds me,  
How come I'm pushed into the ground.**

Why do angels never come my way,  
Can they find me, do they even look?  
My boyfriend only calls to see if I'm okay,  
Does nobody actually care, everyone thinks I'm not capable and I'm a sook.

I'm the concrete angel pushed into the ground,  
Everyone looks at me every day and smiles,  
I'm always faced down whenever I'm found,  
Maybe I can pretend to be happy for awhile.

One day I'm not going to be there,  
I'm tired of living lies but pretending to be happy,  
Acting like everyone cares,  
I'm a stupid girl all because I'm me.

I've been crushed by paper,  
And walked on like stone,  
I've lived in fear incase I woke up the same,  
I've been beaten enough to be covered in bruises and in the emergency room because of broken bones.

I walk to the bus stop with the lunch I've packed,  
No one knows of the tears I've cried,  
No one knows the things I'm holding back,  
No one knows how much I've tried.

I'm tired and I'm lonely tonight,  
My heart isn't enough for you though,  
Because it's broken and it's torn but I'm alright,  
So now it's time to wave goodbye and walk away,  
I'm leaving now, it's my time to go.

My fourth entry sounded like this :

**Dear Diary,  
Thanks for letting me raise my voice and letting my words be seen,  
My pain I got rid of deep within my heart,  
The questions I asked and the places with you i have been,  
The way you held me together with just being there as i was falling apart.**

Some more questions I need to ask are will they forgive me?  
When I'm finally happy and when I'm gone,  
For cutting too deep and hanging my heart up on a tree,  
Will they know my love for them will go on and on.

When they're lonely will they see me looking down?  
No need to hide any longer and try to stop my tears,  
Will they know that when i was smiling it was just another frown,  
Will they know that was the case taken for many years.

Thanks and goodbye,  
I love them and please don't let me see them cry,  
They're the angels that saved me every try,  
But I love you and goodbye.

She had a lot more entries . but nobody got time or patience to read all of them

**She wrote like she wanted suicide and she wanted it .**

** Not anymore though . Now she was alright . She was perfectly fine . Just because she decided she will fight all her demons , even alone if she had to . Now she had Naruto , friends and two angels of kids . Hinata Hyuga was not alone anymore , not broken .**


End file.
